WeWriWa/Snippet Sunday 10/06/2013 #8Sunday #SnippetSunday

On October 6, 2013, Posted by , In Snippet,WeWriWa/Snippet Sunday, With 20 Comments

This eight overlaps last week’s a little.  This ends the scene, and, like I said last week, I felt like last week’s eight didn’t stop in the most ideal place.  Enjoy!

As a knight, he’d seen many a battle.  He was no stranger to the pain it caused the survivors.  He’d passed through villages where buildings burned, orphaned toddlers cried morosely in the streets, clutching desperately to decapitated dolls.  Adults stared lifelessly into the darkness, just waiting for a place to die.  Others buried the dead and put out the flames with a single-minded determination brought on not by strength of character but a will to live forged in fire, then set in the chilled waters that was the reality that death was rampant and unforgiving.  He held no doubt this Amara knew that truth intimately.

Still, the gentle, young mother softly caressed the boy from behind, giving him comfort she so desperately needed yet expected none of herself.  He felt compelled to show her compassion still existed in this world.

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20 Comments so far:

  1. Hopefully, he acts upon his instinct. Very nice eight – one of your sentences ran on a bit long, but I suspect that might have been to condense it into eight sentences. 😛 Looking forward to reading more!

  2. J.A. says:

    Very evocative eight. Well done!

  3. Well done! You evoke a lot of emotion and tell a lot about the world they live in.

  4. Chip says:

    Great line: “the gentle, young mother softly caressed the boy from behind, giving him comfort she so desperately needed yet expected none of herself.”
    I read that as a metaphor for the knight’s own desire for respite from war.
    Well done!

    • Wow, cool. I don’t really think of things like that while I’m writing. I’m a pantser, you see. But, some of my deepest stuff comes out of just letting the words flow out without thinking about it. Letting the subconscious dictate for you.

      And, thank you. I just love seeing how other people see the world and my stuff.

  5. I like his way of analysing the situation.

  6. P.T. Wyant says:

    I have been loving this story — I hope you continue posting from it.

    • I do plan to. It’s a long while until publication. I’m only about half way done with writing it, so I foresee posting this for quite some time. I might miss a week every now and then, but I always come back. 😉

  7. A very enthralling story, beautifully told every week…. Excellent excerpt!

  8. Alex Jones says:

    This is a really beautiful snippet… War from a warrior’s perspective, yet still very human. I loved the bit about their will to live. Very vivid, very real, and chilling. 🙂

  9. Karysa Faire says:

    Sniff. Very touching.

  10. Marcia says:

    Definitely intriguing! You pack a lot of emotion into just a few sentences, and it doesn’t feel forced at all. Super job here. Is it hard writing scenes like this? I’ve got several people dying in my WIP and there are days when I just don’t want to write about that, you know!

    • Thanks. And no, I don’t find it hard to write scenes like this. For me, it’s easy (other types of scenes might be impossible but I don’t have trouble with this stuff). There are times when I just don’t want to work on something. But I also like to have a lot of different activities available for me to do. For example, right now I have a variety of things on my to do list:
      -Write in Seize (this book)
      -Edit Forever After
      -Outline/Plan/Plot Mila’s Shift for NaNoWriMo
      -Choose books to review
      -Blog posts
      -Social Media/networking

      It makes it easy to feel productive. Though, November is going to be interesting since I’ll have to focus on writing Mila’s Shift, and probably little else.

  11. I loved the post. A lot of emotion in this snippet!

  12. A bit of optimism breaking through the darkness at the end?

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