WeWriWa/Snippet Sunday 08/18/2013 #8sunday #snipsun

Okay, I am completely incapable of posting my snippet if I go to my mom’s house for the weekend.  It just never happens.  So, I should probably warn you I probably won’t be posting next weekend either.

Anyway, here’s this week’s snippet…


I felt like death warmed over and begged the energetic boy to allow us a break when I stopped at the sound of a horse.  I grabbed the boy and whirled around a tree, hiding from the rider by instinct even though we hoped to eventually garner directions from a stranger.  I couldn’t help it.  Visions of mysterious riders in black, which was really just my imagination running amuck, grabbing us and carrying us away and back to the evil witch, flew through my head.  I shuddered against the small form I kept pressed to my emaciated chest.

The horse and rider stopped.  I heard the telltale sound of booted heels hitting the hard-packed earth, the sharp sing of a blade leaving its sheath.  My breath froze in my chest and I pressed David’s small head tightly to my shoulder as if that could save him from this new threat.


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18 Comments so far:

  1. Excellent job of painting the scene! Your details are wonderful. 🙂

  2. Summer Ross says:

    Love the descriptions you use-
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  3. Karysa Faire says:

    Good thing she followed her instinct! And what possible chance do two starving people have against a sword?

    (The first sentence was a little confusing–was it death that begged the boy to stop?)

  4. raynegolay says:

    Well written. These few sentences have intensity, her fear and need to protect the boy are palpable.

  5. Very tense, loved this snippet!

  6. It sounds like she has been through so much already! I like her very much, for protecting the boy… looking forward to what happens next!

  7. It’s just a decoy, right? The horse rider is a good guy who will help her, right? I’m scared…

  8. I like good descriptions of sound: “I heard the telltale sound of booted heels hitting the hard-packed earth, the sharp sing of a blade leaving its sheath.” Nice.

    • Well, my sense of smell sucks, so I have a tendency to overcompensate with my description of other senses. See, I never describe smells, largely because I would have no idea how. Still, just the right amount of description can do wonders, don’t you think? I always try to throw in a few scenes in a books that elicit physical or emotional responses from the readers.

  9. burnsmillie says:

    I hope this turns out okay…I’m worried. I too like the descriptions of sound…that’s what sets my heart racing for these two!

  10. P.T. Wyant says:

    What do you mean you won’t be posting next week? You can’t leave us hanging like this!

  11. katewyland says:

    Tight, tense scene. Good job.

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