WeWriWa/Snippet Sunday 06/30/2013 #8sunday #snipsun

A continuation from my last snippet, here’s the next eight from my WIP, Seize. Was at my mom’s last weekend and forgot to schedule a snippet last week.  I swear I’m going to get into a habit of posting these every Sunday if it kills me.  It was also fun trying to type and operate my laptop with a giant bandage (Okay, not “giant” but I’m a writer.  I like exaggerating.  It’s what I do, so sue me.) on my middle finger from nicking it yesterday (Don’t know why I keep on cutting myself on the aluminum foil around the top of bottles…).  I didn’t realize how much of a pain these multi-finger touchpads could be when you have a bandage on that finger.

Well, enjoy, and hope you guys have a marvelous Sunday filled with lots of goofing off.

 


My feet pounded more furiously, seeming to pound harder and more desperately as my energy waned, my ears straining for the sound of pursuit.  Please don’t let them discover our escape.  Not yet.  Just a little longer and we might have a chance.  The night was still silent, empty of barking male voices, the clanging of armor or the rhythmic thumping of hooves.

We were almost there but I didn’t think we’d ever get there.  I felt like my heart would give out at any moment.


wewriwa

14 Comments so far:

  1. Tense! But very effective, I could really feel the character’s emotions (and tiredness). Great excerpt!

  2. burnsmillie says:

    Tension is good. I think your second to last line would be stronger if it was something like, “So close, but I didn’t think we’d ever get there.” The repetition of the word there pulls me out of the scene.

  3. I like how you described the silence.

  4. P.T. Wyant says:

    Excellent tension.

  5. katewyland says:

    Ooh, exciting and tense. Nice job.

  6. Great tension there.

  7. DebE says:

    Ooh, I hope they get away…

  8. writerlysam says:

    I like the descriptions of “armor” and “hooves” – great way to set the scene they’re running from.

    • Thanks. This scene just sort of flew off my fingers when I wrote it. It seemed to me, there would be two things plaguing a mind in that situation — getting to safety and what might be chasing, imagined or real. I loved that part too.

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